I kid you not.....
(Not so) little old man in wheelchair is in the office today for his stress test. Due to the fact that he is not able to walk the treadmill, he has had a chemically-induced stress test. So he hasn't had anything to eat since 7am. Now that his "stress" portion is over, he can eat something.
Daughter: "So, Dad, what would you like for lunch?"
Little Old Man: "Oh... can you run over to McDonalds and get me a double cheeseburger and fries?"
I just want to point out that it takes friggin' balls of pure, unadulterated steel to order this kind of lunch in a cardiology office. It's kind of like setting up the grand altar of Satan in the nave of the Catholic church, don't you think?
I hope he's not too surprized when his results come back and show that he needs a heart cath.
PS--Because I'm THAT good of a front office person, I explain to the patients when they schedule that they'll have a 6 hour fast prior to their test and that generally it takes 2-3 hours to complete. I further explain that should this seem like too long to go without eating, they may bring a snack to tide them over. Usually, people bring peanut butter/crackers.
I think that they're afraid of the lightning bolt that will hit them should they think of bringing anything else.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The Summer is Set to Begin!
Ahhhh......
That time of year again.
The blessed time of year when we are temporarily childless. That glorious time of year when I can shower with the doors to the bathroom open, start a load of laundry at 10pm (the washer/dryer are located in a second closet in her bedroom), and eat nothing but salads for dinner!
Of course, we have to get through this week first.
I had play practice on Sunday afterooon, rehearsal for a theater program Sunday night, a meeting for the chorale I perform in last night, play practice tonight, final dress rehearsal for the program tomorrow night, Pip's dance recical on Thursday night, Friday night is the program I've been rehearsing for, and Saturday is a trip to the chiropractor, and a writer's forum I've been invited to.
Also-- Pip flies out on Saturday.
Her week goes like this: Dance recital practice this past Saturday afternoon, laundry/packing Sunday, dance rehearsal last night, date with boyfriend tonight, dress rehearsal for dance recital tomorrow night, dance recital Thursday night, date with Daddy Friday afternoon, date with boyfriend Friday night, flying to her mother's house on Saturday.
And from there, the summer will whiz on by and I'll be blogging that her return is just around the corner and I haven't even set up her senior pictures yet.
My Oma always told me that the reason that old people drive so slowly is that as you age, time speeds up and it's physically impossible to drive faster than 25mph when your life is flashing before your eyes.
I'm beginning to believe her.
That time of year again.
The blessed time of year when we are temporarily childless. That glorious time of year when I can shower with the doors to the bathroom open, start a load of laundry at 10pm (the washer/dryer are located in a second closet in her bedroom), and eat nothing but salads for dinner!
Of course, we have to get through this week first.
I had play practice on Sunday afterooon, rehearsal for a theater program Sunday night, a meeting for the chorale I perform in last night, play practice tonight, final dress rehearsal for the program tomorrow night, Pip's dance recical on Thursday night, Friday night is the program I've been rehearsing for, and Saturday is a trip to the chiropractor, and a writer's forum I've been invited to.
Also-- Pip flies out on Saturday.
Her week goes like this: Dance recital practice this past Saturday afternoon, laundry/packing Sunday, dance rehearsal last night, date with boyfriend tonight, dress rehearsal for dance recital tomorrow night, dance recital Thursday night, date with Daddy Friday afternoon, date with boyfriend Friday night, flying to her mother's house on Saturday.
And from there, the summer will whiz on by and I'll be blogging that her return is just around the corner and I haven't even set up her senior pictures yet.
My Oma always told me that the reason that old people drive so slowly is that as you age, time speeds up and it's physically impossible to drive faster than 25mph when your life is flashing before your eyes.
I'm beginning to believe her.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
A Birthday SpotBot
So, due to the fact that my husband has to work the evening of my birthday and Pip has a dance rehearsal, we celebrated the glorious date of my birth on Monday night instead of Thursday night. Dinner was pretty good and damn expensive.
We got home and they made me unwrap my birthday presents. My hubby finally listened to me and he got me a SpotBot! I have been looking at these since they came on the market, to be honest with you.
Generally he has difficulty in purchasing things like this for Christmas and my birthday, as he feels that they don't convey the correct sentiment. I say, "Who the hell cares?". He bitched and moaned when I said that I'd really like a new ironing board and refused to buy me one (until I came back from Meijer with the second new iron in four months since the ironing board kept tipping over and breaking the iron). He refused to get me the deviled-egg holders I wanted another year. His mom (probably thinking that I was a nutjob) got me two for my birthday one year. Now I can take up to 36 deviled eggs to a potluck without getting friggin' deviled egg all over the car! (Always an interesting smell on day 1, imagine baked-in-the-car deviled egg going on day 7.)
Thanks to the SpotBot, I can clean that mess, too!
Since he doesn't think that domestic items are gift worthy, I also got the entire "Young Ones" series on DVD. ((For those of you born after 1980, "The Young Ones" was a British comedy series that used to air on MTV. It was about a group of misfit university students in London and it was absolutely hysterical.))
We got home and they made me unwrap my birthday presents. My hubby finally listened to me and he got me a SpotBot! I have been looking at these since they came on the market, to be honest with you.
Generally he has difficulty in purchasing things like this for Christmas and my birthday, as he feels that they don't convey the correct sentiment. I say, "Who the hell cares?". He bitched and moaned when I said that I'd really like a new ironing board and refused to buy me one (until I came back from Meijer with the second new iron in four months since the ironing board kept tipping over and breaking the iron). He refused to get me the deviled-egg holders I wanted another year. His mom (probably thinking that I was a nutjob) got me two for my birthday one year. Now I can take up to 36 deviled eggs to a potluck without getting friggin' deviled egg all over the car! (Always an interesting smell on day 1, imagine baked-in-the-car deviled egg going on day 7.)
Thanks to the SpotBot, I can clean that mess, too!
Since he doesn't think that domestic items are gift worthy, I also got the entire "Young Ones" series on DVD. ((For those of you born after 1980, "The Young Ones" was a British comedy series that used to air on MTV. It was about a group of misfit university students in London and it was absolutely hysterical.))
Friday, June 1, 2007
You know you need a date with your husband/partner when...
You know you need a date (as in a night out) with your husband/partner when your current definition of "date" is sitting at the computer deciding who gets to pay which monthly bill.
I'm the step-parent of a teenage daughter (Pip) from my husband's first marriage (she resides with us), we've been married for two months shy of 12 years, and I honestly can't remember when we last had a date.
My husband had a bit of a life change three years ago. He quit his old job (Thank you God!) and got a new, much less paying career. He's blissfully happy with his new position, but it pays half of what the old one did. To help make ends meet, he's picked up a part-time job. I've told him that at any point he can quit the part time gig, but so far he keeps plugging away at both. This leaves us precious time to actually GO somewhere as when he's not at one job, he's at the other.
He's free to take time off from the part-time job, but I feel that it's more important for him to take time off to attend his daughter's choir concert, her school play, and her dance recitals than to go out on a date with me I don't complain. After all, you only have the first 18 years of your child's life to leave a good, parental impression.
The 'spark' is still there for us, it's just that we don't often have the time or energy to fan it into flames--if you know what I mean. Things were easier when Pip was 7 years old and went to bed at 8:30pm. Mommy-Daddy time (that blissful time of day when parents can actually talk to one another without keeping things Y7 in ratings) could start at 9:00. Now it's 10:30 for bedtime (although I'm pretty sure that at 10:30, the lights go out and the IPod goes on...), news at 11, falling asleep on the sofa promptly at 11:20pm. If we need an alert, adult conversation our best bet is either to call one another at work or send an email.
From time to time I think back on our dating days. He--a dashing, soccer-playing part-time minister in Louisville, KY and I--a fun-loving, fashionable hairstylist in Canton (a suburb of Detroit), MI. We got to know each other through friends, the phone lines, and snail mail. (Al Gore hadn't 'invented' the Internet yet.) We would get together every other weekend, alternating who drove to meet whom. It didn't take long to realize that we'd each met our soul mate in the other. We made long-distance dating work then, we'll make phone calls and emails work now!
Besides, when I look into his eyes, I still see the young soccer player and I know that he still sees the fashionable hairstylist.
Not to mention that college starts in Fall of 2008. I know that it's a long time to go before we can reinstate date night, but my hubby's worth it!
This post is part of a Blog Blast sponsored by E-Harmony Marriage, a new online alternative to marriage counseling (cool, right?) and Parent Bloggers Network. If you'd like a chance to win a $100 Amex Gift Card for a date out with your spouse/partner plus $100 cash for a babysitter, then write your own post "You Know You Need a Date With Your Partner When...." anytime today, send the link to parentbloggers@gmail.com, and they will pick a winner at random. Click here for more info!
I'm the step-parent of a teenage daughter (Pip) from my husband's first marriage (she resides with us), we've been married for two months shy of 12 years, and I honestly can't remember when we last had a date.
My husband had a bit of a life change three years ago. He quit his old job (Thank you God!) and got a new, much less paying career. He's blissfully happy with his new position, but it pays half of what the old one did. To help make ends meet, he's picked up a part-time job. I've told him that at any point he can quit the part time gig, but so far he keeps plugging away at both. This leaves us precious time to actually GO somewhere as when he's not at one job, he's at the other.
He's free to take time off from the part-time job, but I feel that it's more important for him to take time off to attend his daughter's choir concert, her school play, and her dance recitals than to go out on a date with me I don't complain. After all, you only have the first 18 years of your child's life to leave a good, parental impression.
The 'spark' is still there for us, it's just that we don't often have the time or energy to fan it into flames--if you know what I mean. Things were easier when Pip was 7 years old and went to bed at 8:30pm. Mommy-Daddy time (that blissful time of day when parents can actually talk to one another without keeping things Y7 in ratings) could start at 9:00. Now it's 10:30 for bedtime (although I'm pretty sure that at 10:30, the lights go out and the IPod goes on...), news at 11, falling asleep on the sofa promptly at 11:20pm. If we need an alert, adult conversation our best bet is either to call one another at work or send an email.
From time to time I think back on our dating days. He--a dashing, soccer-playing part-time minister in Louisville, KY and I--a fun-loving, fashionable hairstylist in Canton (a suburb of Detroit), MI. We got to know each other through friends, the phone lines, and snail mail. (Al Gore hadn't 'invented' the Internet yet.) We would get together every other weekend, alternating who drove to meet whom. It didn't take long to realize that we'd each met our soul mate in the other. We made long-distance dating work then, we'll make phone calls and emails work now!
Besides, when I look into his eyes, I still see the young soccer player and I know that he still sees the fashionable hairstylist.
Not to mention that college starts in Fall of 2008. I know that it's a long time to go before we can reinstate date night, but my hubby's worth it!
This post is part of a Blog Blast sponsored by E-Harmony Marriage, a new online alternative to marriage counseling (cool, right?) and Parent Bloggers Network. If you'd like a chance to win a $100 Amex Gift Card for a date out with your spouse/partner plus $100 cash for a babysitter, then write your own post "You Know You Need a Date With Your Partner When...." anytime today, send the link to parentbloggers@gmail.com, and they will pick a winner at random. Click here for more info!
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