So I'm not scheduled for the second job tonight. I'm getting the oil changed on my car (this will not resolve the "check engine" light issue, it's more for my own piece of mind) after work and debating on whether or not to do laundry before the weekend actually starts.
Regardless, I'll be checking my apartment for a tse-tse fly.
Why?
Because all friggin' week I haven't been able to stay awake past 10pm!! I've tried everything to stay awake but nothing is working, AND there's no logical reason for me to be soooo tired! Therefore if no logical reason is presenting itself, one must start looking at the illogical reasons. As I do not think that God would pick me as the mother of the second Messiah (the least of reasons being that whole "Virgin" clause was blown out of the water decades ago) I'm going with a rare, African wetland insect loose in my apartment and nightly stings me which causes me to pass out from fatigue.
It's really the only reason that makes sense.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Expiration Date
I'll just put this out there and see if anyone still visits....
So how long after divorce should one wait until they start dating again? Is it a matter of an Emily Post etiquette algorithm like "Two Waiting Months to Each Year Married"? I would then beg to argue that only 'happy years' should be considered in this marriage equation, as the unhappy ones were their own kind of purgatory that has already been suffered through.
THEN, when would this 'waiting period' begin? Once both parties had decided that the marriage was over? When the households split? When the judge signed off on the official notice at the courthouse?
All that is fine and good, but what if you didn't think that you'd ever feel like dating EVER again? What if this 'non-dating' period took YEARS and by the time you finally decided that you'd like to give it a try the only eligible bachelors around were Myron and Ralph on the third floor of the retirement community. --Neither one having their own teeth, knees, or colons anymore?
Is it worth it to go out with someone even if you don't really feel like it? Let's be honest here, wasn't that the last few years of my marriage?
I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that I've passed my expiration date. I don't want to be one of those sad cans of organic soup that sit -unwanted- on the closeout rack at Meijer waiting for someone, anyone to take them home.
So how long after divorce should one wait until they start dating again? Is it a matter of an Emily Post etiquette algorithm like "Two Waiting Months to Each Year Married"? I would then beg to argue that only 'happy years' should be considered in this marriage equation, as the unhappy ones were their own kind of purgatory that has already been suffered through.
THEN, when would this 'waiting period' begin? Once both parties had decided that the marriage was over? When the households split? When the judge signed off on the official notice at the courthouse?
All that is fine and good, but what if you didn't think that you'd ever feel like dating EVER again? What if this 'non-dating' period took YEARS and by the time you finally decided that you'd like to give it a try the only eligible bachelors around were Myron and Ralph on the third floor of the retirement community. --Neither one having their own teeth, knees, or colons anymore?
Is it worth it to go out with someone even if you don't really feel like it? Let's be honest here, wasn't that the last few years of my marriage?
I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that I've passed my expiration date. I don't want to be one of those sad cans of organic soup that sit -unwanted- on the closeout rack at Meijer waiting for someone, anyone to take them home.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?
That I'm the dullest person in the metro-Toledo area?
I keep thinking that I should update this blog, but I don't do anything other than work job 1 then go to job 2 and work some more.
Naturally, that's not ENTIRELY true... I did go to Cedar Point the other Saturday with some very dear friends, and the weekend before that I was in Wisconsin hanging out with the BFF and her family (an awesome trip, by the way).
However left to my own devices I'm a friggin' old lady!
I keep thinking that I should update this blog, but I don't do anything other than work job 1 then go to job 2 and work some more.
Naturally, that's not ENTIRELY true... I did go to Cedar Point the other Saturday with some very dear friends, and the weekend before that I was in Wisconsin hanging out with the BFF and her family (an awesome trip, by the way).
However left to my own devices I'm a friggin' old lady!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Trying to Understand the Karma of it All
OK, so divorce court went well (I guess...?...). It made me giggle a little that the whole divorce court proceeding should take as long as the wedding ceremony...
I went to SSA afterwards and showed them my paperwork so that I can once again have my ethnicity back. Walked in, waited less than 5 minutes, filled out a form, and left the building in another 5 minutes.
On Friday (at 4:30 no less...) I went to the BVR to change my driver's license to my maiden name and was told that the state of Indiana had a hold on my license. They gave me the # to the Indiana BVR and I called there (at 4:53pm). Welllllll, apparently I had gotten a ticket in Michigan and not paid some fine, so the state of Michigan sent some form to Indiana and I can't renew my license there. The (bitchy) woman in Indiana gave me the # to the Michigan Secretary of State and told me to clear things up with them.
......oh.......and this "Mystery Ticket" is from December of 1998......
Since it was a holiday weekend, I couldn't call anyone until Tuesday. I tried to call after work, but --apparently-- there was some kind of power outage in Lansing and they didn't have computers. I called again yesterday around 4pm.
The Secretary of State lady was (actually) pleasant as she could be. She said that I had NO outstanding tickets in that state either by my married or maiden names. She said that she didn't see any reason why Indiana wouldn't let me renew my Ohio license and gave me a different # to call in Indianapolis.
So I called the other # and got this PMS-ing bitch of a woman. I explained what I was trying to do and how I'd already called the state of Michigan and that they couldn't find what the state of Indiana was referring to by an unpaid ticket. I --further-- explained to the woman that in December of 1998, I was living in Michigan. We had moved there in October of 1998 and that I didn't understand how they could have gotten my Indiana license when I didn't have it any longer.
Basically, Ms. Bitchy McPMS told me that there was nothing that she could do. I had to pay the state $150 to reinstate my license, that was the ONLY way that she could take the block off of my license. After listening to her patronize me for 10 minutes, I asked to speak to her manager.
Who was twice the bitch that the first lady was!
She didn't seem to care that Michigan hadn't issued any kind of "hold" or that I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE AN INDIANA LICENSE when this "ticket" had occurred!! She wasn't listening to a friggin' word I said!! It was all I could do not to call her a fu%*ing c#nt right then and there! --And as potty as my mouth can get, I NEVER use the C-word.
So I copied my three proofs of address (this -again- the Indiana people couldn't understand. I pay my bills electronically. I receive my statements online. There are no envelopes or bills that come my way in the snail mail) and I sent the friggin' state of Indiana 150 goddammed dollars for what --I assume-- is THEIR friggin' error. (Let's be honest, I don't have the $1500 retainer for a lawyer, let alone the time and effort to argue this any further.)
The karma bit is this:
When we were first married, I filled out the SSA papers and mailed them in. The next year (when we filed taxes) I got a notice that my name didn't match "Rife" on my W-2 forms. I filled this out again (in the crap state of Indiana).
We moved to Michigan and --again-- I was notified that my name was still "Weber" on some form of legal something. I went --again!-- to the SSA and filled out the friggin' form.
When I moved back to Ohio (after living in Wisconsin for 6 mos) I had to become a notary, and was **you guessed it!** notified YET AGAIN that my social security records were STILL in my maiden name! I went to the SSA offices in downtown Toledo filled out the friggin form (by memory this time...) and within 2 weeks, I had my "Rife" social security card.
NOW, I can't change anything else over until I'm back to being a "Weber" and the sucking hellhole of a state known as Indiana won't let me change back!
What am I supposed to learn from this? Never change your name? Know who you are and don't forget it? Take the good times from your marriage into your future?
I just want my goddammed name back!
.....oh yeah.......I overnighted that money order*!
*I'd send a check, but as my address hasn't been updated on it, I'm afraid it would just confuse the people in Indiana. Their pea-picking brains can't seem to comprehend much......
**By the way, I don't see the logic in updating my checks until AFTER my name is changed (since it's both address and name that are different) and I can't do that until I get my new STATE ISSUED ID!
I'm almost beginning to feel that this marriage will NEVER be over......
I went to SSA afterwards and showed them my paperwork so that I can once again have my ethnicity back. Walked in, waited less than 5 minutes, filled out a form, and left the building in another 5 minutes.
On Friday (at 4:30 no less...) I went to the BVR to change my driver's license to my maiden name and was told that the state of Indiana had a hold on my license. They gave me the # to the Indiana BVR and I called there (at 4:53pm). Welllllll, apparently I had gotten a ticket in Michigan and not paid some fine, so the state of Michigan sent some form to Indiana and I can't renew my license there. The (bitchy) woman in Indiana gave me the # to the Michigan Secretary of State and told me to clear things up with them.
......oh.......and this "Mystery Ticket" is from December of 1998......
Since it was a holiday weekend, I couldn't call anyone until Tuesday. I tried to call after work, but --apparently-- there was some kind of power outage in Lansing and they didn't have computers. I called again yesterday around 4pm.
The Secretary of State lady was (actually) pleasant as she could be. She said that I had NO outstanding tickets in that state either by my married or maiden names. She said that she didn't see any reason why Indiana wouldn't let me renew my Ohio license and gave me a different # to call in Indianapolis.
So I called the other # and got this PMS-ing bitch of a woman. I explained what I was trying to do and how I'd already called the state of Michigan and that they couldn't find what the state of Indiana was referring to by an unpaid ticket. I --further-- explained to the woman that in December of 1998, I was living in Michigan. We had moved there in October of 1998 and that I didn't understand how they could have gotten my Indiana license when I didn't have it any longer.
Basically, Ms. Bitchy McPMS told me that there was nothing that she could do. I had to pay the state $150 to reinstate my license, that was the ONLY way that she could take the block off of my license. After listening to her patronize me for 10 minutes, I asked to speak to her manager.
Who was twice the bitch that the first lady was!
She didn't seem to care that Michigan hadn't issued any kind of "hold" or that I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE AN INDIANA LICENSE when this "ticket" had occurred!! She wasn't listening to a friggin' word I said!! It was all I could do not to call her a fu%*ing c#nt right then and there! --And as potty as my mouth can get, I NEVER use the C-word.
So I copied my three proofs of address (this -again- the Indiana people couldn't understand. I pay my bills electronically. I receive my statements online. There are no envelopes or bills that come my way in the snail mail) and I sent the friggin' state of Indiana 150 goddammed dollars for what --I assume-- is THEIR friggin' error. (Let's be honest, I don't have the $1500 retainer for a lawyer, let alone the time and effort to argue this any further.)
The karma bit is this:
When we were first married, I filled out the SSA papers and mailed them in. The next year (when we filed taxes) I got a notice that my name didn't match "Rife" on my W-2 forms. I filled this out again (in the crap state of Indiana).
We moved to Michigan and --again-- I was notified that my name was still "Weber" on some form of legal something. I went --again!-- to the SSA and filled out the friggin' form.
When I moved back to Ohio (after living in Wisconsin for 6 mos) I had to become a notary, and was **you guessed it!** notified YET AGAIN that my social security records were STILL in my maiden name! I went to the SSA offices in downtown Toledo filled out the friggin form (by memory this time...) and within 2 weeks, I had my "Rife" social security card.
NOW, I can't change anything else over until I'm back to being a "Weber" and the sucking hellhole of a state known as Indiana won't let me change back!
What am I supposed to learn from this? Never change your name? Know who you are and don't forget it? Take the good times from your marriage into your future?
I just want my goddammed name back!
.....oh yeah.......I overnighted that money order*!
*I'd send a check, but as my address hasn't been updated on it, I'm afraid it would just confuse the people in Indiana. Their pea-picking brains can't seem to comprehend much......
**By the way, I don't see the logic in updating my checks until AFTER my name is changed (since it's both address and name that are different) and I can't do that until I get my new STATE ISSUED ID!
I'm almost beginning to feel that this marriage will NEVER be over......
Thursday, August 21, 2008
One Week
The countdown continues......
Next week (at this time) I'll be in downtown Toledo for my 8:45am family court marriage dissolution.
Then off to the social security office to change my info there, then back to work.
.....man! I know how to live!!
Next week (at this time) I'll be in downtown Toledo for my 8:45am family court marriage dissolution.
Then off to the social security office to change my info there, then back to work.
.....man! I know how to live!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
22 Days
22 days until I'm officially single again.
22 days until I'm a Weber again. (One 'b'; I didn't stutter...... it's 'Weber', not "Web-ber"...)
22 days until the last (13-year) chapter in my life is closed.
Am I excited? Yeah, a bit.
Am I sad? Yeah, a bit.
Am I happy? ...I don't know.....
Am I repressing a deep depression? .......I really don't think so, but if I'm repressing it I wouldn't know for sure, would I??
The one thing that I DO know for sure is that I have the best, most supportive, and most affirming friends EVER!
.........now if only I can remember how to be single......
22 days until I'm a Weber again. (One 'b'; I didn't stutter...... it's 'Weber', not "Web-ber"...)
22 days until the last (13-year) chapter in my life is closed.
Am I excited? Yeah, a bit.
Am I sad? Yeah, a bit.
Am I happy? ...I don't know.....
Am I repressing a deep depression? .......I really don't think so, but if I'm repressing it I wouldn't know for sure, would I??
The one thing that I DO know for sure is that I have the best, most supportive, and most affirming friends EVER!
.........now if only I can remember how to be single......
Friday, July 25, 2008
Family Support
I know that my parents love me and that they're worried sick about how I'm doing on my own again. --I know this because they call almost weekly (which they don't normally do) and try to convince me to move back to Colorado. They'll even pay for the plane tickets/gas/covered wagon to get me back home!
I know that my friends --you know who you are, and you know that I consider you even closer than family-- love me and care for me and are 'there' whether I need advice, a mop and bucket, or help with heavy lifting!
So imagine my surprise when Rich's older sister (Cindy) emails me and says that she would like to keep in touch with me, even though I'll no longer be part of Rifeland. She went on to say that she doesn't think that Rich has changed for the better and that her heart is breaking for me.
!
I emailed her back and said that I'd love to keep in touch with her (and her family). She's a truly loving, wonderful person and very much the older sister I never had. She is genuine in her friendship and honest in her living. I also told her (in the email) that I wasn't out to hurt Rich in this divorce. I wasn't taking EVERYTHING like Jen did and that I truly wish nothing but the best for Rich.
I'll be honest here. I did this #1: because it's the truth but also because #2: because I wanted his whole family to know that I'm not the 'bad guy' in this split.
So she emailed me back. Cindy let me know that SHE knows that I'm not a vindictive person (ala the first wife, Jen) and that Rich's mom and dad also think that Rich's mid-life change is NOT FOR THE BEST. Basically, his whole family think that he's going off the deep end.
Why?
Because apparently he's told them that he is trying to live a monastic life and that I couldn't do that. He wants simplicity and quiet and I just won't go there with him.
Naturally, I had to point out that monks don't have girlfriends and that regardless of the words coming out of his mouth, Rich is dating someone else now.
I think that family shit may be about to hit the fan in Rifeland.
I know that my friends --you know who you are, and you know that I consider you even closer than family-- love me and care for me and are 'there' whether I need advice, a mop and bucket, or help with heavy lifting!
So imagine my surprise when Rich's older sister (Cindy) emails me and says that she would like to keep in touch with me, even though I'll no longer be part of Rifeland. She went on to say that she doesn't think that Rich has changed for the better and that her heart is breaking for me.
!
I emailed her back and said that I'd love to keep in touch with her (and her family). She's a truly loving, wonderful person and very much the older sister I never had. She is genuine in her friendship and honest in her living. I also told her (in the email) that I wasn't out to hurt Rich in this divorce. I wasn't taking EVERYTHING like Jen did and that I truly wish nothing but the best for Rich.
I'll be honest here. I did this #1: because it's the truth but also because #2: because I wanted his whole family to know that I'm not the 'bad guy' in this split.
So she emailed me back. Cindy let me know that SHE knows that I'm not a vindictive person (ala the first wife, Jen) and that Rich's mom and dad also think that Rich's mid-life change is NOT FOR THE BEST. Basically, his whole family think that he's going off the deep end.
Why?
Because apparently he's told them that he is trying to live a monastic life and that I couldn't do that. He wants simplicity and quiet and I just won't go there with him.
Naturally, I had to point out that monks don't have girlfriends and that regardless of the words coming out of his mouth, Rich is dating someone else now.
I think that family shit may be about to hit the fan in Rifeland.
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